Have you forsaken yourself?

Did you try to be what you thought they wanted you to be?
The affirmation you got when you did your hair, wore perfume, and put on all those bracelets?

Because that's what cool people do.
And you want to be cool.

Are you sick now?
Sick and tired,
But also losing your hair?

-

Them

I need to wear a bunch of those rings that are silver
Not on one finger, but several

I need me perfume
Not the fake ones, but the ones pretending to be real
So I'll save money,
But still be cool

Them

Because they're cool but not cool enough to tell the difference

Summer bracelets, but a necklace of gold
Some makeup but still look dewy, really subtle
There must be a jingle while I rummage through my bag

And if my nails are done I'll be able to click and struggle to move them in that pretty way,
And earrings too! Dangly and pretty.

I can wear baggy clothes,
And a dress. Both are cool nowadays.

I can't laugh always I need to stay mean
A little nice, but not always

Especially to those who always are
I need to walk with my head held high up and like I don't really care

I need to be smart but also be nice
I need to be charismatic, that'll be it.

When someone asks how I am, go over the top to say how well I am
Because that's a millionaire mindset.
Be high energy, be extra up there, be above average

Because this Steve Ridden guy said if I think small I'll be small
So I must think big and I'll be big

Charisma on command says that will demand respect
I'll be interesting
I'll stay interesting
People will want to be around me
They'll like me

I need to be around them
I need to take pictures with them
I need to share evidence that I am just like them

That I am likable
Because I am likable

I need to take a picture in front of the mirror and show them
Because that is me
Wearing those rings
With that hair

I need the picture to remind them so they'll remember me
And they will text me asking how I am

Because they remembered me when they saw that picture of me
And I knew they would
And I knew they finally replied to me because they saw it and realized they liked it and they liked me

Because that's cool
Because I'm cool
I really am
I really really really am
----


Them

They need to see the rings on my fingers
Not on one, but several.


---
That's cool now

And if I became famous?
That would be the best!